Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Soulmates

Re: Elizabeth Gilbert's definition ::
“A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.”

When someone is so similar to you (in freakishly odd small ways) it causes you to be shocked into understanding yourself a little bit better (if you're at all aware of personal habits, etc) This sudden need to look deeper into oneself is a form of challenging oneself. The process of examination usually causes change, because you see things you like and don't like.
The soulmate (of that particular instance, in my opinion there are multiple soul mates, coming at different stages) is still around, of course... and so their continued presence responds to such changes.
The soulmate is also someone who cares about you deeply, and so they look upon these new choices with caring judgement and a sort of concern. The soulmate and you have an instinctual connection, which has built trust - usually you trust these comments - but being linked to a soulmate doesn't mean one loses critical thinking ability. The trust and joyful companionship actually boosts it and creativity in a positive way. So in a long term context the bonding of soulmates helps restore self.
In the short term, the ones that come and go, we learn things of ourselves less completely and aren't given time to respond, but we are given a mirror with which we look upon who we are, because they see you past all the garbage that gets in the way. They show you both what you are, undeniably, and what you can be.
These people are the inspiring ones that in a day-to-day tell us they'll miss us when we go, that "because of what we did/said they'll never look at something the same way", and the ones who say the things that are EXACTLY what we hoped someone would say about us someday...and mean it.

Without soulmates we would never change, we would never learn truly, and we could never experience love completely.

I'm not certain I've always let my soulmates in, in fact I know i'm a hard egg to crack. But I've met these people, that have broken my boundaries and told me to run, at any cost.

There are people that from the minute I meet them I KNOW I was supposed to meet them. Then it's up to me to keep up contact, be equally open, and listen to them.

We all are someone's soulmate (many people's, infact). but it's a duty for us to recognize.


Peace,
Jude.

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

A collection of thoughts, chronologically. Incomplete.

Fragments...Inspired...Confusion:
I'm being told from all angles,
how to think, who to be
But the selfishness inside
always shadows me.

I want to do what's right
What good and true
but on my accord,
not what's important for you.

But, there the paradox begins,
because what's good is good is good
and if it's so universal
we agree! Or so we should...

We all want a voice
we all want some fame
But do we really have the heart?
Do we have any place to start?
really, it's a shame...

a crying shame.


(I want to tell Dan Mangan to write happier songs. So I could listen to him and not feel sad. But then, I remember it's okay to be sad sometimes. And there's more to his songs than being sad. It's about acknowledging the reality of your life. All the little stuff. All the grit, and angst, and dirty secrets you hardly want to admit. It's okay. All that shit is okay to deal with. Being sad doesn't have to linger, not if you deal with it appropriately. Dan, for me, means moving forward. Means teaching myself how to deal. But I feel like I've learned all I can from this album. He's overdue for new.)

TOPIC SHIFT!

http://www.newint.org/columns/essays/2006/07/01/happiness-conspiracy/
What makes us happy? Is it our love of place (and the pursuit of finding the perfect one)? Or perhaps seeking out beauty, organization, decorations, and artful reminders of humanity? Or cultural symbols, icons, and reinforced group patterns of being? Or is it something else? Something not about communicating with others? Is it the pursuit of inner peace and contentment at the expense of anything around us? Well, it surely seems like that considering the span of history humans like the satisfaction of a job well done - think about the immediate pleasure of war, conquering the enemy, etc.
We all know what happiness feels like, we've all had those moments. Lost in full laughter, so much that your belly hurts after. Someone tells a joke that is true enough and funny enough to make you pause, laugh, and think "someone gets it". You find what you've been secretly wishing for; in that moment you savour what you've been given, you feel like you don't need anything else.
1000 Awesome Things takes this approach. It's not a "how to be happy" book. It just celebrates those little things that you can't not be happy about. They're all those moments where the world seems right, just for a moment. Perhaps they're not long term; maybe they're not controllable. But that's just it. Happiness isn't about regulation or planning. It is mostly about being connected to the world, and open to what it can offer. It doesn't mean (or intend) you will be happy all the time, but it allows you to be MORE happy when you do find yourself in those little Awesome moments.
Happiness is about perspective. Which, I guess, is what the book of Awesome teaches, in a roundabout way.

#Imhappiestwhen is trending on twitter tonight. Responses include: "near the ocean""sitting with a group of friends, talking about nothing, having nowhere to be...sounds like summer" "im wit mi otha 1/2" "I look at my bank account and I see a comma" "I see JYJ performing on stage""i'm eating""I put my passion ahead of others' expectations" "I have nothing on the proverbial 'agenda' and can have a ME day consisting of relaxation, reading, writing, &meditating" "those I love are happy".
I wonder as I read through these, is there anyone of those that is the best way to be happy - one which we should all aspire to? Or are all of them equal?
I've always enjoyed the satisfaction of having a day (or part of a day) where I'm in control & everything goes well. It happens every once in a while. Today I reflect on those days and wonder what I can do tomorrow to make things that way again. ...
Always a dreamer. No solutions. I'm at a loss, world.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

POP!

On Sunday we went to the AGA - the Art Gallery of Alberta. It has been called the "Eyesore of the Month" by James Howard Kunstler, the same man who discredits Wal-Marts as "places not worth caring about." Now, I completely agree that Wal-Marts and the insidious box-store tumours that grow on the edges (and centre!) of cities are ugly, and take up waaaaay too much flat space. I, for one, don't care about them at all. Frankly, I avoid them.

But, I do adore the AGA. It's such an intriguing structure on the outside, and the best part is that it flows inside and out with the metal 'wave' intersecting with glass and the metal frame. The exhibits this weekend were astonishing too. Walter Philips, Emily Carr, a collection of traditional and modern Haida folk pieces and art, Lawren Harris, Sarah Fuller (a photo collection, "bubble"diorama of her experience of Banff), and the 3rd floor feature: Andy Warhol - Manufactured.

At the start I wanted to just go in, sans technology (phone, notepad, music, etc), and view the artwork. y'know just it and me, questioning each other. But, that lasted no more than 20-30 minutes, after the first exhibit -Lawren Harris -began to raise questions of my own practice of art (haphazard, random, and rarely completed for lack of "form"... I had to start writing these thoughts down. So, in the second exhibit - Walter Phillips, I had to bring out my phone with it's handy dandy notepad feature.

The first thing that I felt compelled to write down - was the name and information recorded on a tiny machine in the corner of this gallery. It is a device called a hydrothermograph. It measures humidity and temperature within the room, and ultimately allows the gallery staff to preserve the collection on display. I was intrigued by the name (so close to the weather gathering instruments I was exposed to in a class in 2nd year) and for an upcoming class next semester - Museum Studies. If nothing else, I can pointless harbour the knowledge of what this thing is called, and that it measured 19 degrees Celcius and ~50% RH in the room that day. I assume that's on par with the average and/or required for most museums, so I'll test that assumption in class someday if it comes up.

Anyways, the more interesting things of the day was definitely the rest of Phillips' exhibit - he was influenced by various members of the Group of Seven in Western Canada, after moving from England mid-life, and later on picked up wood-block printing techniques characteristic of the Japanese. The collection was extensive and showed his progression and fallback to favorite techniques. Overall he enjoyed watercolour, and the intricate depth and detail produced by wood-block printing. His focus subject was landscapes, but only those which had been modified by humans. It was the human influence  - such as a dock on the beach, boats on the water, or people at settlements or travelling which he focused on. Even what seemed to be a study of a patch of trees drew attention to the emptiness in the foreground - perhaps where some trees had been previously removed. At a certain midpoint in Phillips' career he experimented with mixing old and new techniques. The result: images of vacationers on Banff slopes, and white men conversing with Natives. In both scenarios the wood cut print and the certain contrast of water colour and sharp black outline identified these as "cartoony" in my mind. Perhaps it was because of the touristy nature of both images... ? The caricature of tourism in a natural landscape was of particular interest to me as a geographer...as well as his entire commentary of ensuring the importance of human place-making ...Which is maybe why I enjoyed the exhibit so much.

Later, Sarah Fuller's My Banff (a collection of photo portraits of friends she met while living in Banff for a decade, as well as a "bubble" diorama to put the individuals in context to her life) explored the reality of the touristy reality of Banff in a modern context. A quote from her information booklet tethered to the wall in the gallery reads
"the Local is defined by its unfamiliar counterparts. A peculiar tension exists between around here and out there... So many of us have arrived recently in the places we call home."
I found this such a pertinent quote - because it can be for the strangest reasons that we come to call a particular place home. That reason might be a re-location for a job, a temporary move for school, a friend's family who takes you in as their own child, or perhaps, just one place at the right time - exactly when you needed what it had to offer. The trickiest part is that it's always different for everyone. And that's why this exhibit was awesome, in my opinion. Sarah expressed to the viewing audience why she saw Banff as her home, and included all the reasons why. Usually those reasons were the people AND the way they experienced the town and landscape together.

-----

I don't have too much to say about Emily Carr and Haida - though they deserve huge volumes of praise and critique - other than it was a moment of relaxation for me to view her art and the Haida folk art. I have a few lingering questions about Haida spirituality, shamans, and their reliance on animals (as many Native groups also hold)...And I completely respect Carr's style. I felt like I was literally lost in her West Coast forest of swirling green and the rich brown-red of the redwoods.  She is a fascinating artist, making great strides in the Group of Seven - and I learned of her interest in Theosophy [a combination of Western Philosophy and Eastern mysticism]. I can see how she would be drawn to the totem poles and spiritual myths of the West Coast with that direction of interest...

Lawren Harris was the feature of a small introductory exhibit; he worked in the early 20th century and reminded me of Kandinsky for all the reliance he had on geometric shapes. Some of the sketches were too abstract to really understand on their own, but the 5 or so large colour paintings added a lot of OOMPH. Some were mimics of landscapes, while others were oscillating colour - representing thought patterns. That's where I really enjoyed the abstractness of it. I'd never heard of or seen Harris' work before - and his perspective and attention to line detail and colour play was just awesome!

Last but not least was the Warhol: Manufactured exhibit. The entire 3rd floor (and part of the 4th) was used for the collection of Warhol's progression into his famous silkscreen print making technique. One of the most stunning was a 10'x10' (or more) seemingly "unfinished" canvas of a typewriter painting. There was about 2/3 of the body of the typewriter filled in and detailed with black, the rest of the penciled in outline left untouched...  I found it funny that even Warhol couldn't finish a Warhol (he found the painting in of the penciled in image too tedious - and too personal). [as an art student in high school I completed an acrylic copy of Warhol's Beethoven and was driven to insanity because of it. But, I suppose had I been true to his technique I wouldn't have been so frustrated I'm sure...]

The one thing which was emphasized in the exhibit was how much Warhol enjoyed machinery, and he desired to be a machine himself. This was why he used mechanical painting techniques (ink blots early on, silk screen presses later), and pursued a career as an artist for advertisements. He loved advertising and logos for their simplicity. He enjoyed celebrities because they became idyllic to the public - just a face, repeated over and over again. Some may misjudge his fascination with consumer culture as a criticism of it in Post-War America, yet it was exactly the opposite. He celebrated it. He represented it - he demanded people not try to look "deeper" into him, his wigs, plastic-expressions, and facsimile style art was purposefully meant to remove himself from his person - the creation of a mechanical being.

The coolest part of the Warhol exhibit was on the 4th floor, with 20 or so
silvery
crinkly
Jiffy-Pop style
floating/hovering
rectangular
"clouds".
They honestly just lingered in the air, due to whatever gas was in them.
If you stood and looked up at them slowly moving around you your body felt weightless after a while.
I'm guessing it was some body-mind experiment Warhol enjoyed or toyed with.
So. cool. I poked and prodded at a few.Spun them around. Jumped to try to catch them. I could imagine it would be so wonderful to draw or write in a room of those. :)

It was a lovely day at the gallery - I bought ROBOT stickers, and a book on Pop Art at the gift store. Plus, a can of Campbell's soup for the Edmonton food drive. Of course, right? :P

 I just love art. <3
The AGA is definitely a place worth caring about, Mr. Kunstler.

Peace.
-Jude

Saturday, 4 June 2011

Summer Goals

So, my plan for this was to set up the growing list of goals I've thought of for the summer, including biking, books to read, and places to go, people to see! I'm glad I've left it for a few days, because I've realized a few things about the realities of those goals as they were. Not that they're "unachievable", I'm just more aware of what I need to do in order to allow them to be fulfilled.

Firstly, I intend on biking to and from work. Here I thought this would be a big goal to work up to, considering my office at the university is up a kilometre long ~10% grade hill... But, after one run around town to get used to my bike again, My first attempt up the hill was a success! I've averaged 3 days out of 5 so far for biking to work. Thursday, for example, I woke up late, AND it was raining...so I gave myself a day off. Then Friday, it was probably also something to do with being a slow riser. But 3 outta 5 ain't bad!

One of the more complex goals this summer is my reading list. I'm looking into graphic novels more and more, and I'm also picking up more fiction that I have in a really long time. I'm still stuck in Moby Dick, and I'm a chunk of the way through Shantaram. I plan to keep up with some non-fiction goodies too, but I'm really enjoying getting lost in the "dream-world", as it were, of Sandman, and the astonishing complex beauty of India in Shantaram.

The best part about Alberta this summer, as I mentioned last time, is the number of Maritime visitors! So I plan on making it down to Drumheller a few more times this summer (I will also be back in Calgary for more work stuff) plus catching up with Matt when he hits Edmonton!

Other possible travel plans include Winnipeg for their Folk Fest (to allow my shameless stalking of Dan Mangan to continue), and Vancouver with Kathleen - depending on end-of-work/vacation time.

As Dan Mangan says, Wasted Days Make for Wasted Years. This is my plan for the summer. And hopefully a pattern of not-wasting days will turn into not-wasting years.

I've realized while I may have been many places on my Bucket List I haven't valued what I left behind as best I should, perhaps. I travelled to Greece to see what once was, with the Parthenon and Mycenaen ruins exposing the leftover architecture of centuries past. I saw the age-old buildings of Rome dictate the style of new buildings and tourists who flood to the city to immerse themselves in the past; forgetting the problems of today is easy when you're inside a millenia-old amphitheatre. In fact, it changes your whole perspective on what modern building could be like. Then, you come back to reality and all the airports, and subdivisions, and highways cloud over that idealism again.

In many ways, Sackville does this to me too. It's bubble of Maritime/intellectuals/hipsters/locals is a great escape from the Albertan subdivisions and highways and consumption. But, when I come 'home' I'm faced with it all again. The challenge lies in bringing the knowledge I've gained into my day to day life without seeming better than the town, because I've hardly lived here for the past 3 years, it feels wrong to tell them what to do. But living here gets irritating sometimes. Okay, NO more ranting. ;)

My goals for the summer: read more (whether it be comic books, fiction, or non-fiction), BIKE!, keep in touch with friends, and travel if possible. A goal I don't really need to strive for, because it seems to just *happen*, is pick up new music. And through new music comes new friends, if not vice versa as well. :)

Til next time. I hope the next will be more specific. Seriously this took way too long to put together. I will also strive for more punctual/regular posts. ;)

Peace!